Driving home from my clothing drop-off and feeling quite content, I ran into a few problems. Anyone familiar with the Pittsburgh area knows that in order to get pretty much anywhere, you probably have to go over a bridge and through a tunnel. So, in returning from the north side of town towards my home, I went over a bridge happily making sure I was in the correct lane for the tunnel so I could get to the right road as the bridge is an interstate feeding into a tunnel that dumps out onto three main roads (for those of you familiar with the area I went through the PItt tunnel). Well, I got just a little ways into the tunnel when the car began to slow. I thought perhaps I was in too high of a gear and so I downshifted.. and again.. and again! Now I was in a 50mph tunnel in 2nd gear only able to summon enough energy for maybe 5 or 10 mph! I had my foot down as far as the pedal would go and was praying hard!
Smoke! As I watched the gap widen in front of me to see no cars in my lane still in the tunnel and the end still very far away, I glance behind me to see I was smoking! The tunnel was slowing filling up with black smoke behind me. One nice things was that all the other drivers were quite polite and nobody seemed mad at me. There was not a single horn blown as we inched our way through the tunnel. I reached the end and found the three major roads splitting off. Choosing the easiest to pull off onto and the one with the highest probability of finding a parking lot I continued to pray hard and thank the drivers who gently pointed out that I was smoking and going quite slow. :)
One very amusing part was that as I approached the off-ramp, the cars behind me happily followed along! They did not zip past even when there was plenty of room! Happily following this poor little smoking car inching at a snail's pace. Only in Pittsburgh! Finding myself finally on Rt. 19, I prayed for a quick pull off.. a little motel! Glory to God! I made it into the parking lot and a parking space! Thank You Jesus!
Another little miracle was a friend whom I was supposed to see that afternoon decided to come and see me in the parking lot! He planned to visit at my house, and well we just switched our location! He also gave me a ride home after the tow truck came... 4 hours later!!! Thank you Lord fro good friends and wonderful guardian angels!
August 29, 2008
August 28, 2008
A night in the streets
As I am still at home, I have been seeking some volunteer employment. My first opportunity came this past Monday evening. I worked with what my home parish terms "blanket Monday" (it goes by different names in each area so as to keep it all God and not give the credit to those in charge).
The ministry involves taking blankets, food, clothing, shoes, bags, and most importantly LOVE to the homeless of Pittsburgh. The homeless begin lining up as early as 6pm for the services which begin at 10! Before beginning we made a stop into the nearby McDonalds. As I was standing there one man looked at me and said, "I see that smile! You are happy, aren't you?!" He was one of the homeless I would later see in line and was so glad to see my joy. The funny thing being that I did not even know I was smiling!
We arrived on the scene and began distributing these giant lunches packed with plenty of goodies including pastries, sandwiches, chips, crackers, etc. Then came blanket and clothing distribution. I was assigned to packaging the men's clothing after it was selected for them. A relatively simple task that meant so much to the men! To see them and to just give them a gentle smile was all I was able to do, but yet I felt so filled with a joy I cannot explain for the joy was not for me, it was for them, yet it was in me! CRAZY!!!Now, i know this Joy is Jesus and He decided to make His presence known not only to the homeless but also to me as He worked through me and in me. Still it is difficult to fathom.
Thank God for the chance to share Him with others and to see Him myself!!! AMEN!!
The ministry involves taking blankets, food, clothing, shoes, bags, and most importantly LOVE to the homeless of Pittsburgh. The homeless begin lining up as early as 6pm for the services which begin at 10! Before beginning we made a stop into the nearby McDonalds. As I was standing there one man looked at me and said, "I see that smile! You are happy, aren't you?!" He was one of the homeless I would later see in line and was so glad to see my joy. The funny thing being that I did not even know I was smiling!
We arrived on the scene and began distributing these giant lunches packed with plenty of goodies including pastries, sandwiches, chips, crackers, etc. Then came blanket and clothing distribution. I was assigned to packaging the men's clothing after it was selected for them. A relatively simple task that meant so much to the men! To see them and to just give them a gentle smile was all I was able to do, but yet I felt so filled with a joy I cannot explain for the joy was not for me, it was for them, yet it was in me! CRAZY!!!Now, i know this Joy is Jesus and He decided to make His presence known not only to the homeless but also to me as He worked through me and in me. Still it is difficult to fathom.
Thank God for the chance to share Him with others and to see Him myself!!! AMEN!!
August 21, 2008
"Seeking God"
This is a poem by St. Teresa of Avila about some words she received during prayer, "Seek yourself in Me":
Soul, You must seek yourself in Me
And in yourself seek Me
With such skill, soul,
Love could portray you in Me
That a painter well gifted
could never show
So finely that image.
For love you were fashioned
Deep within Me
Painted so beautiful, so fair;
If, my beloved I should lose you,
Soul, in yourself seek Me.
Well I know that you will discover
Yourself portrayed in my heart
So lifelike drawn
It will be a delight to behold
Yourself so well painted
And should by chance you do not know
Where to find Me
Do not go here and there;
But if you wish to find Me,
In yourself seek Me.
Soul, since you are My room,
My house and dwelling,
If at any time,
Through your distracted ways,
I find the door tightly closed,
Outside yourself seek Me not,
To find Me it will be
Enough only to call Me,
Then quickly will I come,
And in yourself seek Me.
*the rhyme is off due to translation from Spanish to English
Beautiful Meditation!!
Soul, You must seek yourself in Me
And in yourself seek Me
With such skill, soul,
Love could portray you in Me
That a painter well gifted
could never show
So finely that image.
For love you were fashioned
Deep within Me
Painted so beautiful, so fair;
If, my beloved I should lose you,
Soul, in yourself seek Me.
Well I know that you will discover
Yourself portrayed in my heart
So lifelike drawn
It will be a delight to behold
Yourself so well painted
And should by chance you do not know
Where to find Me
Do not go here and there;
But if you wish to find Me,
In yourself seek Me.
Soul, since you are My room,
My house and dwelling,
If at any time,
Through your distracted ways,
I find the door tightly closed,
Outside yourself seek Me not,
To find Me it will be
Enough only to call Me,
Then quickly will I come,
And in yourself seek Me.
*the rhyme is off due to translation from Spanish to English
Beautiful Meditation!!
August 20, 2008
Finding a groove
The Lord leads us all down our own road. We have companions who join us for bits and pieces and some who may join us for what seem to be the entire thing! Yet, we all know that nobody else walks exactly the same path that we do and so we must each find our own niche.
So here I am at home, where I grew up and belonged at one time. i shall always belong here in a sense that it is part of my roots, but there is a sense of walking along someone else's road. I a here as I wait try to figure out what road to walk along, where am I called to go.
While at home I am trying to find my groove here. Which Mass to go to, how to set up prayer times, what sort of work to do. so I beg your prayers as I continue to find the horarium of home life :)
So here I am at home, where I grew up and belonged at one time. i shall always belong here in a sense that it is part of my roots, but there is a sense of walking along someone else's road. I a here as I wait try to figure out what road to walk along, where am I called to go.
While at home I am trying to find my groove here. Which Mass to go to, how to set up prayer times, what sort of work to do. so I beg your prayers as I continue to find the horarium of home life :)
August 13, 2008
Back into Society
My dear friends I am sorry for the wait but i am not home and posting once again. I spent the last month in a cloister in Tyringham, MA. It was a beautiful experience which I will be sharing in pieces with you all.
What I would like to share with you today is how society appears after a month on the inside. First I must ask you to picture the beauty of silence and living for a month in the blanket of natural beauty. A month within a cocoon of gentleness and love. How do you return to regular society? Well, I have always been an extremely busy and active individual which comes from living in a very active family. At the monastery life moves at a slower pace so that each moment and each action can be thought about and used as a prayer. So, I return. Day one I arrive after a few hours of travel in airplanes and airports to find out that my brother is also arriving the same day. After breakfast, he arrives and we go home. Within an hour of being home, he is already out the door to a friend's house and I am joining my mother for a short walk and then out to the movies.
When we walked into the theatre i felt completely overwhelmed! It was blasting the sound into the little room so that one could no longer think anything due to the piercing noise level! I had never realized how loud movie theatres were prior to this point as I had become accustomed to the mere dropping of a mop seeming loud and disturbing! My mind dulled and the noise did not seem so loud as I settled into the plot and enjoyed the movie.
Continual noise and movement are so much a part of daily life it is astounding! A typical day is filled with continual noise. And it seems that everything is rushed! We run from one thing to the next in a blur of action! Family meals take just under a half hour normally and then it is off to the next event! It was a huge adjustment which seemed quite strange to be in. This has been my life for 23 years! Even more so in college as I ran from class to class, meeting to meeting, and ate most meals on the run! Only during Mass and my one hour of prayer did I stop to breathe and focus completely on the activity at hand. In one month of cloistered life, could I really have adjusted so much? The only logical reason why it would be hard after a single month to return to life as you have lived it for 23 years is that I am not meant for the life I have been accustomed to. The adjustment into the cloister was hard, but seemed normal and I was at peace the entire time. Coming home it seemed that my head began spinning immediately especially as we drove over to church and turned on the radio as we were also having a conversation! This world bombards us with noise and activity and yet as humans we cannot possibly take it all in and so much of it is wasted energy just decreasing our ability to truly focus on what is important.
I was able to reflect on this after hearing a story of a young man who was deaf. After 20 or so years, they were able to provide him with hearing aids. After a short time, he was found ripping them out as it was too much! He was at peace in the silence and was able to communicate just fine, all the noise was too much for him and so he opted to go without! What a beautiful revelation for me to feel so connected and find this inner desire to return to the silence and the peace which accompanies it. I may be a talkative and active person but I would give anothing for a whole day of silence where no conversations or radio or TV could take me away from my union with God.
Oh Lord shine your grace upon this busy world and give us a chance for silence amidst our high noise-level acitivities.
What I would like to share with you today is how society appears after a month on the inside. First I must ask you to picture the beauty of silence and living for a month in the blanket of natural beauty. A month within a cocoon of gentleness and love. How do you return to regular society? Well, I have always been an extremely busy and active individual which comes from living in a very active family. At the monastery life moves at a slower pace so that each moment and each action can be thought about and used as a prayer. So, I return. Day one I arrive after a few hours of travel in airplanes and airports to find out that my brother is also arriving the same day. After breakfast, he arrives and we go home. Within an hour of being home, he is already out the door to a friend's house and I am joining my mother for a short walk and then out to the movies.
When we walked into the theatre i felt completely overwhelmed! It was blasting the sound into the little room so that one could no longer think anything due to the piercing noise level! I had never realized how loud movie theatres were prior to this point as I had become accustomed to the mere dropping of a mop seeming loud and disturbing! My mind dulled and the noise did not seem so loud as I settled into the plot and enjoyed the movie.
Continual noise and movement are so much a part of daily life it is astounding! A typical day is filled with continual noise. And it seems that everything is rushed! We run from one thing to the next in a blur of action! Family meals take just under a half hour normally and then it is off to the next event! It was a huge adjustment which seemed quite strange to be in. This has been my life for 23 years! Even more so in college as I ran from class to class, meeting to meeting, and ate most meals on the run! Only during Mass and my one hour of prayer did I stop to breathe and focus completely on the activity at hand. In one month of cloistered life, could I really have adjusted so much? The only logical reason why it would be hard after a single month to return to life as you have lived it for 23 years is that I am not meant for the life I have been accustomed to. The adjustment into the cloister was hard, but seemed normal and I was at peace the entire time. Coming home it seemed that my head began spinning immediately especially as we drove over to church and turned on the radio as we were also having a conversation! This world bombards us with noise and activity and yet as humans we cannot possibly take it all in and so much of it is wasted energy just decreasing our ability to truly focus on what is important.
I was able to reflect on this after hearing a story of a young man who was deaf. After 20 or so years, they were able to provide him with hearing aids. After a short time, he was found ripping them out as it was too much! He was at peace in the silence and was able to communicate just fine, all the noise was too much for him and so he opted to go without! What a beautiful revelation for me to feel so connected and find this inner desire to return to the silence and the peace which accompanies it. I may be a talkative and active person but I would give anothing for a whole day of silence where no conversations or radio or TV could take me away from my union with God.
Oh Lord shine your grace upon this busy world and give us a chance for silence amidst our high noise-level acitivities.
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